Is “church hurt” really a thing?
Is “church hurt” really a thing? Reflecting on my own Christian journey, I can honestly say I have been both the victim and the offender within the church. I have criticized, scoffed, and withheld my participation—always believing my reasons were fully justified. Curiously, it is easy to forget the times we have wounded others when we become the ones who are criticized, marginalized, or unsupported in our own ministry endeavors. This is all to common: we are quick to critique others, yet slow to endure the same treatment.
Through these experiences, I have come to realize that church hurt is undeniably real, but it becomes manageable when we adopt a mindset of self-reflection. When we honestly consider how often our own words, attitudes, and actions have wounded others, we naturally develop a more patient and forgiving spirit. It is vital to remember that the church is comprised of imperfect people striving to be like Christ. Because of our shared human frailties, we will inevitably stumble and offend.
How, then, should we respond to criticism or hurt within the church community? Do we withdraw, cease attending, or refuse to serve? Absolutely not. Instead, we persevere. We extend forgiveness, seek reconciliation, and continue moving forward.
When considering how often we must forgive, we can look to the Gospel of Matthew (18:21-22). In Peter’s culture, forgiving someone three times was considered standard. Attempting to be generous, Peter asked Jesus if he should forgive a brother up to seven times. Jesus’s famous reply—”seventy times seven”—was not a literal mathematical limit. Rather, He was teaching Peter, and all believers, that forgiveness must be continuous and limitless.
We extend this grace because our Heavenly Father has so lavishly bestowed it upon us. God is the very definition of love, abounding in mercy and grace. As His born-again children, we are called to reflect His character by offering that same grace to those around us. In Ephesians 4:1-5, we are urged to walk worthy of our calling by practicing humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another in love. We are called to believe the best about our brothers and sisters, actively preserving the unity of the Spirit through our shared bond in Jesus Christ. Extending this forbearance is rarely easy, but it is deeply necessary—especially when we remember that others must constantly extend the same forbearance to us.
While church hurt is a painful reality, it can also be used as a justification to abandon the church or avoid spiritual commitment. If walking away were the correct response, we would never maintain employment or participate in any social organizations, as human interaction always carries the risk of offense. Simply put, wherever people gather, the potential for hurt exists.
Therefore friends, I encourage you to get active and engaged in your local church. The spiritual rewards and community blessings far outweigh the challenges.
For His Glory,
Tahnee
